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Community Family Care's parenting column in The Citizen & Gloucestershire Echo, October 2016

12/10/2016

 
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Don’t let stress affect children
​Parenting column by Sasha Brown, family care manager at Community Family Care, Staunton

Being a parent/carer is not always easy and it can be difficult for parents to juggle work and family life.

The result is that everyone feels stressed from time to time.

We’ve put together some advice so that you can stay calm when managing children’s behaviour at times of stress.

Why it’s important to recognise stress

Being a parent/carer can be rewarding but it can also be very challenging. 

There may be times when you feel your patience has run out, particularly when trying to deal with misbehaviour.

When you are exhausted or stressed you can sometimes make decisions that you later regret. You may accidentally snap at them and shout or have a lower tolerance for behaviours you would normally accept.

Recognising when you are becoming stressed allows you to seek help to tackle issues that are worrying you and enables you to take back some control.

It is useful to recognise the signs that you are close to your limit and to have some ideas about what you can do to prevent yourself losing control.

Sometimes your children may appear to be the trigger of a crisis but more often than not they are just the last straw.

The effect of stress on children

You may not realise just how much children pick up on tension.

They become worried and anxious and sometimes may choose to trigger a situation which relieves the tension rather than live with the uncertainty.

Children may also find how you deal with stress frightening.

Sometimes people relieve stress by hitting out, shouting or tensing muscles and for some children that can be very scary.

It can also be emotionally upsetting to a child to witness a parent becoming very angry or losing emotional control.

Children often think they are to blame for the outburst and this can damage their own emotional and mental development.

How to manage stress

Identify the signs that you are becoming stressed and try using some of these techniques to help to calm you before it escalates.
  • Count to 10 and take deep breaths (an old one but a good one).
  • Take time out. Walk away and take a few minutes to calm yourself. This could be another room or outside if you need air. Are you really angry at your child or has something else happened?
  • Visualise somewhere calming. This could be a tropical island or beach, whatever works for you.
  • Remind yourself you are the adult and you are setting an example to your child on how to behave. Would you like to be shouted at or spoken to in that manner?
  • Phone a friend. Sometimes talking things through helps you to see things in a new light.
  • Factor ‘me time’ in to your day. This could be two minutes to have a cup of tea in peace or to read a magazine.
  • Scream into a pillow – away from the children. You can let rip in the pillow, it will absorb the noise and this is better than yelling at the children.

Click here to download a PDF of the article.

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People’s Postcode Trust is a grant-giving charity funded entirely by players of People’s Postcode Lottery.

Our charity received a £4,000 grant from the Trust to go towards IT equipment and to cover training and recruitment costs for five new sessional Family Support Workers.

www.postcodetrust.org.uk
www.postcodelottery.co.uk
Community Family Care
Unit A Kingsholm Mews
76 Kingsholm Road
Gloucester
GL1 3BD
​

01452 840999
info@communityfamilycare.co.uk
  • Community Family Care is part of Community Foster Care
  • Community Family Care is Investors in People accredited
  • Charity Registration Number: 1084124
  • Company Number: 03719101
Website by lizhawkins.co.uk
  • Home
  • About Us
    • Vision, Mission & Values
    • The Team
    • Our Trustees
    • Testimonials
    • Work For Us
  • Our Services
    • Family Group Conferences >
      • FGC Information for Kids
      • FGC Information for Family & Friends
      • FGC Information for Professionals
    • Working For Families
    • BoA Youth
    • Art Journal Project
    • LifeCoach
    • Story Explorers
    • Family and Child Support for Schools
    • Chill and Chat
  • News And Views
  • Useful Links
  • Contact Us